9.1.2022

•  Global Entry Interview this past monday (8/29).  Was at a super odd hour (10pm) at SFO airport.  Was a bit nervous at first, also never parked at SF parking before.  International Arrival hall. $2 for every 15 min of parking. Turns out to be $10 for parking a bit over 1 hour.  Interview was easy, mostly just answer stuff like, have you been arrested; have you had issues with customs, etc.   Got approved, so hopefully will get global entry card 2 -3 weeks. 
• Great row house row on Tuesday with Marianne.  Looks like they're switching up instructors, so Michael will be teaching tuesdays/thursday evenings. heard there will be more full row classes, yay!
• Stopped by Costco. Coincidentally both pairs of glasses came in.  Picked them out.  Pretty happy about them.  Back to my old style.... which i quite liked.  Costco presscription glasses back to just $40 off each additional pair.  I got a great deal last week with $50 of each additional pair!
• Sent Dad the prescription, should be able to get from Costco tomorrow. 
• Opened a CD with first republic bank.  Apparently my banker (Linda Tran) also speaks Cantonese!
• Blood glucose mostly doing ok. Had some high moments (ate 1 full waffle), but was able to bring it back down just in time with rowing. 
• Finished yummy carrot cupcakes. 
• The mozzarella balls didnt turn out very well with the fathead dough bread. Oh well. 
• Spent about 2 hours every day this week discussing the nightly build script with Chip. 
• Today, Chip randomly brought up the topic of finding opportunities within intel if  i don't like leetcode style interviews. 
• Felt guilty about still not getting back on pramp.  Unfortunately, i feel like i'm not in the right 'shape' for doing pramp anymore. But of course, that means i really need it :/
• "Finished" the version control course.  "Completed" 2 out of 10 courses in the meta backend certificate program... not even sure if this is even worth it, honestly.
• did a couple of leetcode problems.  I really have lost the touch of it, sigh. 
• Trying to organize a dinner with rocky and nga tomorrow...but response doesn't seem so great.  Also kinda surprised that Rocky really doesnt want to drive anywhere.. back to our office area is 'too far'.
• Looked into some trip stuff.  Almost was able to get a "apple strudel" class.  Unforunately the host is exactly unavailable during the short two days I'm in munich.  Oh well. But i guess we are booking some other "oktoberfest" tour instead.  Oh gosh.. really crossing fingers we dont get covid. 
• Transferred all my points to Eugene to use for the trip.  Dang.. this trip is gonna cost a lot.  Oh well..if dont go now, won't ever be a better time to go travel for so long.  Gonna appreciate it as a "lifetime" trip.

8.26.2022

•  Had to go into work today. 
• Brought 10 carrot cupcakes. Got to use my cupcake holder. 1 got smushed while driving over. 1 cupcake left at home for eugene. 1 we ate last night.  Seems pretty good. recipe worth keeping. every coworker seemed to have liked it. one even took two, one for her daughter at home. 
• curry up now, indian lunch with team. self paid. got the chicken kathi roll (flatbread, egg wrap, chicken with bell peppers... some fried crisp, chai.. which i had to add sugar, with parle g crackers.  unfortunatle, my glucsoe went to 193... immediately tried walking 30 min to bring it up down. went to fitness center treadmill.  Got it from from 193 to 96 with 30 min walking.... have to get back to work... but waiting and hoping it won't go back up high again. 

8.25.2022

•  - Was able to reproduce the work I worked on two months ago at work.
• manager asked for updates already on task she mentioned on Monday. 
• Last weekly session of physical therapy for Eugene.
• Found and made new carrot cupcake recipes.  12 cupcakes, bring into work tomorrow. small batch cream cheese frosting.
• Completed 1 easy leetcode problem (rectangle overlap?) and immediately switched to medium upgrade of that problem (rectangle area).  Had to reread problem a second time to return correct answer but got it fairly easy :)
• Started a new audiobook for while walking. Think fast, fail fast? So far pretty good. 
• 21 days of reaching daily goal steps!
• Second to last episode of izombie. getting really good!
• wanted to call dad, but went to bed early. 
• zena's first day of kindergarten. Rememebred and messaged stephanie about it.  She was happy i remembered
• need to start looking into where can get covid booster shot vaccination. most places seem to say 50+ above only. boo... hope i can get it before the europe trip.

Audio book suggested to list highlights of the day:

Pro-

tried new carrot cake recipe

achieved a medium leetcode problem using concepts from an easier version of the problem. 

reached daily goal step... specificaly went out to get this done in the evening. 

What inspires me

- getting a new leetcode problem?

8.24.2022

• Starting to write back in gratitude journal again.  Have 4 days in a row!
• Learned how to annotate data points in my graph, that also uses seaborn
• Started new Coursera course on git/github flow. hope can figure out git sync, forks, resolve better.
• should most probably try to finish the intro to backend course.  Last "assignment" due this sunday. 
• 
  
• Went to costco to pick out glasses.  $50 off every additional pair of glasses.  Got 2.  i think i got two frames i liked.  very quick process. only took like maybe 20 min to pick out two frames?  With insurance and discount, $137 total for both pairs.  All lens coating included. 
• Got the Costco Keto bread.  actually very very good.  almost unbelievable.  Much better than that other keto (printed ink) bread.  Hope costco continues to carry this...forever!
• Considering the new suitcase.  $50 off, for $130. nice hardcase large and carry on suitcases.
• Ran into Leena and Gary at Costco.  Recommended them a couple of items.
• Went to gym again. able to do 20 min running non stop, barely reached 170 heart rate at the very end.
• Tried lifting weights again. Did some curls, chest presses, triceps curls, etc.  Used mostly 10lb weights. 
• Ate some bibimbap stuff. Loving Loving the various vegetables. zuchhini, sauteed shredded carrots, sesame spinach.  Forgot to add the cucumber kimchi and tofu.
• Went to bed, was a bit sad when eugene brought up leetcode and interivew. i was telling him excitedly at first that there's a lot of books i want to read, but then he had to bring up leetcode and interview instead.  I felt extremely guilty and useless knowing that most probabyl this year is gonna go by again adn i've still not interviewed or gotten a new job.  I hate myself for being the person standing in my own way.

Car maintence is super expensive!

Was on my way home after my bday and about a mile from my apartment, i ran into this black object. Don't know if i can say it is small or not.  Small enough that maybe it wasn't all that easy to avoid, but big enough to create some pretty bad damage to my rear driver seat wheel.  After running over it and hearing a loud thud sound, I saw my tire pressure light instantaneously go off. I kinda guessed that maybe my i got a flat tire, but it got more and scary as my drive felt a lot more bumpy and i definitely felt that my car was getting a bit lopsided. 

I am so thankful and grateful for having Nga as a friend. I don't know why but the first thing I did was message Nga and rocky saying i have car problems and need help.  I really wasn't expecting much but wanted to see if Nga could like ask Gary about what i should do if i have a flat.  Nga was super sweet and immediately first asked if i was ok, and where was i. after she knew that i was safe and at home, she told me that she can come over after work and call AAA to help me get my tire changed.  

After her work, she and Gary immediately came over to help me.  Gary helped take a look and they called AAA.  Gary helped pull my car out to a different spot so that the AAA guy could access my tire a lot easier. unfortunately, i guess when the tire was taken out, it was clear that the lip of the rim got dented and possibly cracked.  So.. this would jack up the price a lot more. 

Went to America Tire Company today and got everything looked at. in sum, got 4 new tires, as 4 new rims.  Most probably this was the most expensive solution, minus getting Toyota brand rims. It was pricy but they were able to do everything then and there since they have all wheels and rims available there.  had to pay almost like $1200 just to fix everything.  Sigh, so expensive for just running over some damn small object on the ground.  Can't believe a flat tire ended up being so damn pricy :(.  Especially since I know nothing about cars and value my safety a lot, i guess i had to go the expensive route. 

Despite it being terrible for my wallet, i'm still grateful that I made it home safely and had no bigger issue. Honestly it was very scary when I wasn't sure if I could make it home safely and parked in my garage.  I remember repeating to myself about how I had hoped to get there back in one piece.  Looking back, I also wonder if there had been any way i could have possibly avoided it.  The thing is, it didn't hit my front wheel.. it hit my back wheel instead.  I guess i maybe had seen it.... but maybe not paid enough attention ahead of time in which i could have avoided it.  Maybe if i was more focused before, i could have went slower?  But honestly, there were cars to my left and behind me, so i don't know how feasible it would have been to avoid it. In hindsight i guess there could have been various stuff i could do... but at the spur of the moment then i most probably can't.  

I guess the overall cost is high and pricy but I guess i'm hopefully buying something for peach of mind and hopefully better safety.  Super thankful and grateful that I made it home safely in one piece.  I didn't crash the car and cause even more damage.  Grateful i have wonderful friend like Nga who came to help me when i was scared and needed help.  

Happy Birthday to Me

Another year around the sun.  

When I was younger, birthdays were awesome day.  It was the day that I was essentially the princess of the family.  My brother is extra nice to me and can't get me upset or sad.  Its bad luck if you cry on your birthday.  If my brother gets in a fight with me, my mom immediately tells him he's wrong.  Mom also asks what i want for dinner and how to celebrate.  It was glorious. 

As years went by, at least the last couple of years, birthdays weren't any fun anymore.  It's nice to see people post birthday wishes on my Facebook wall.  Its nice to see those posts, despite how vacuous those were esp from people who you never ever talk to.  But still, i appreciate it.  However, the bigger is that each year, i'm reminded that I'm yet again one year older and I've apparently not made progress yet, esp compared to others.  I'm not married yet, have no family of my own, still renting a place, dependent on finding a roommate to help split the cost.  I'm still at job where i'm "transitioning" and not making big bucks where I can remotely think of maybe purchasing a place of my own.  My weight loss goals aren't achieved.  All in all, birthdays are another reminder of how I still haven't achieved much, esp compared to other my age around me.  It's a stark reminder.  Honestly, its come to a point, where birthdays are a tad bit depressing. 

So here's yet another year to my life?  How have  I progressed?  Ha, you bet.   I'm still unmarried, with no clear signs of when that status is going to change.  E. seems to be always dragging his feet, and makes me wonder am i wasting my time.  (But, i love him a lot, and can't imagine how hard it would be without him in my life.).  I still dont' have a place of my own.  It's coming up to 8 years now, renting in the same place.  In fact, I have to get a new roommate now coz Diana is gonna be wfh til end of the year and don't want to continue paying rent for a place she's not staying at.  I am nowhere near starting a family.  I've been trying to get egg freezing done for the first half of this year to at least maybe preserve some eggs before i roll off the ripe old age of "32".  COVID threw a curve ball, so even after like 5 months since the initial consultation, I still haven't been able to get the procedure done.  Though, i think today, i finally will be able to get started and take the first steps of the medication.  And lastly.. am I  thrilled with my current job and think i'm making good progress in my career and to a stage where I am happy? Nope. 

E. already anticipated that I was gonna be a bit sad on my birthday, as he has been witnessing the last couple of years.  I really appreciate him in remembering that and reminding me to not feel that way. As he says, birthdays are necessary to celebrate getting older.  Its a way to celebrate me, and the awesomeness I have achieved.  Give myself some credit. Don't compare to others.  

So here we go:

MICHELLE, 

Have an awesome birthday this year! You rock and keep at it.  You're going at your own pace.  Don't be affected by others zooming past you.  Just as long as you are working hard to make even one step of progress, that is good enough.  Remember all the awesome things you have achieved and most importantly have. 

I am grateful to have some caring friends in my life.... most grateful for Eugeue, Leon, Nga, Rocky.

I am grateful that I am mostly in decent good health. 

I am grateful that my dad, mom and brother are still here with me, doing well. 

I am grateful for still having a job, regardless of how "sexy" the job may be. 

I am grateful for all my remaining coworkers, who have all been very nice and helpful, to give me a stressful work environment. 

I am grateful that I seem to have found another roommate just in time to take care of Diana's place so I don't have to pay the full rent. 

I am grateful that I have a roof over my head and I don't have to worry about making ends meet.

I am grateful that today I start the first day of treatment .

In this upcoming year, 

I would like to learn to appreciate and give myself more credit. 

I would like to successfully declutter my apartment, and learn to let go of things (emotionally, mentally, physically)

I would like to be able to block out any negativity and toxic people in my life so I can find my inner peace. 

I would like to learn to not dislike others as much. 

I would like to start a family of my own. 

I would like to get better at my finances. 

I would like to get into a tier 1-2 company as a software engineer. 

I would like to have general better health (acceptance of my natural body weight, acceptance of thinning hair, no more body aches and pains)

I would like to develop some new healthy habits.  (decluttering, meditating, relaxing, etc). 

You've achieved a lot, and a lot more to achieve! Go get it girl!

I love you very much, 

Michelle